Saving relationships after a conflict

Managing conflict involves more than simply resolving the disagreement. If you do not address the emotional and psychological needs of the people involved, the conflict may return and/or serious damage to the relationship may occur.

Depending on the severity of the conflict and how it was handled at each step of the resolution process, it may be impossible to get back to where you were in the relationship before the disagreement. The key to reducing this possibility is to identify and address conflicting issues as early as possible. The longer a problem remains unsolved, the more damage it can cause. Whenever possible, apply one or more of the following strategies to help protect and salvage the relationship(s) between you and your coworkers, supervisor, and customers. The following are key steps to salvage a relationship once a conflict occurs:

It reaffirms the value of the relationship. You cannot assume that others feel the same way you do or understand your intention unless you communicate it. Tell them how much you value their relationship. This is especially important when it comes to clients.

Demonstrate commitment. You must verbalize and demonstrate your desire to continue or strengthen your relationship. The way to do this with clients is through service recovery or working collectively with the client to rebuild trust and relationship.

Be realistic. Due to behavioral styles, some people find it difficult to “forgive and forget.” You have to systematically help restore their confidence. It may take a while to accomplish this, but it is well worth the effort.

Stay flexible. A strong relationship involves the ability to give and receive. It is especially crucial that you and others involved make compromises after the conflict.

Keep communication open. One of the biggest causes of conflict and broken relationships is poor communication.

Earn engagement. You can’t do it all by yourself. Obtain a commitment to work toward reconciliation from anyone else involved in the conflict.

Monitor progress. Do not assume that because the conflict has been resolved it will remain so. Deep-seated problems often resurface, especially when compromise was not obtained.