Please don’t ask for more!
How would you feel if you had recently helped someone out of a bind? Perhaps they were struggling to meet a financial obligation and you were in a position to help them. After confirming how much they needed, he gave them the money, not asking what it was for, not expecting it back. Imagine your reaction if only a few hours later you were contacted with a request for more money!
It would certainly dilute the warm feeling you get from having helped them before. That would probably evaporate under a haze of disappointment, as she wondered if you’d been used, perhaps why you’d even bothered! As such, the relationship could well be changed forever.
There are many situations in life that are no different.
– New grandparents they are often delighted to be asked for help with babysitting or childcare, only to later discover that they are so dependent on them that they cannot make any plans, not even for a coffee or lunch date with friends, without registering first. Holidays must be arranged months in advance.
And often there is very little appreciation of their commitment. Because children are involved, it can even be seen as a special honor for them to be lucky enough to be such a big part of their grandchildren’s lives. Some balance could be introduced by making sure the grandparents are also included in the fun times. Not just treated like unpaid babysitters.
– In a work environment. Building a new business or focusing on a change of direction may require everyone to work longer hours and be fully dedicated, but ultimately there has to be a limit to spending endless days on the road or in meetings. After a while, all joy fades, while enthusiasm and critical thinking become a tired memory.
Sometimes it is worth considering hiring additional people to share the load. There could well be routine or more mundane tasks that could be outsourced. It’s worth showing that you care about the welfare of staff before team members beg, ‘Please don’t ask us for more!’
– Personally, sometimes we have to decide when enough is enough. How long do we keep chasing success, working harder and harder, accumulating more possessions, money, status? Indeed, the global pandemic was a wake-up call for many, providing time to reflect on priorities and fewer opportunities to spend money, socialize and go on holiday abroad. Money became less important, while time in nature, our relationships with friends, family, and pets became far more relevant to our mental health and well-being.
– Strangely, too much attention. it can also be overwhelming at times. When someone wants to be with us constantly, accompany us in everything we do, share all our interests and free time, we can find ourselves saying, ‘please don’t ask for more, I have nothing more to give!’ It can be good to keep a bit of ourselves in reserve, to have some separate interests, friends, and activities that are personal to us. Apart from everything, it provides more varied conversations and adds interest to the moments we are together.
– When we are busy, trying to prove something or achieve an important goal, we will often ask ourselves for more and more, sometimes not realizing that we have become irritable, unhappy, and our relationships are suffering. It is possible that our sleep is affected and we are stressed most of the time. It can be tempting to tell ourselves that we’ll continue for now, that it won’t be long.
But when we overload ourselves, we become less efficient as a consequence. Taking breaks, respecting ourselves, our lives, and our relationships are important investments in our health and well-being. Dedicating time to these areas ensures that we feel better able to spend quality time achieving results and working well.
– And if we are working in collaboration with others it’s good to remember that we don’t know how much effort has been required when we ask someone to commit to working towards their goal. We’re only able to appreciate something from our own perspective, but it’s also important to stop and take time to reflect on the other person’s investment, the effort they’ve put in, and the potential sacrifices they’ve made.
Being aware of our personal limits is a key component in protecting ourselves from being asked for more and more. If we show that we are happy to help, to show solidarity and to show that we are good friends, there are those who abuse our disposition and take it as a green light to continue demanding.
Sometimes our giving is taken so much for granted that we receive little or no recognition of our previous help and support. That may well be the time to stand up, refuse to continue being complacent, and insist on a better deal from now on.