Persevere with online dating to succeed
It’s important to realize that even with good advice, being successful with online dating will take effort on your part. Online dating can be confusing at times and it can also be daunting at times, but if you are committed to finding that special someone, success is possible. The important thing is always to persevere both in the ups and downs.
You may very well find the stages of online dating… well, depressing. Don’t expect to sign up, send a few emails and find the love of your life; while this is possible, it usually doesn’t happen, so don’t treat online dating as the magical, instant answer to singleness. One thing I did when meeting dates was discuss my online dating experiences with my dates. Several women described feeling very discouraged at times and even said they had considered giving up online dating (a feeling I myself had occasionally early on). This shouldn’t get you down. I’m simply trying to show you that many people experience this and suggesting that quitting might not be the best option just because things don’t work out perfectly. So here are some thoughts on how to get through the tough times:
Ladies:
Of the women I’ve talked to, the biggest problem a lot of women have is that some men can be real jerks (obviously I’ve heard worse words than that!). While this may be true in the outside world as well, it is possibly even more so online. The anonymity of the web allows some people to act horribly when they wouldn’t in normal situations. For example, a friend told me that the men she comes into contact with start out charming, but then start using sexual innuendos in her messages. When she didn’t respond in kind, they stopped writing, or even became abusive! (Mind you, this was on one of the free dating sites, which I don’t recommend as they have little to no member moderation.) But hey, you’ve probably come across guys like this in normal everyday life; they are not exclusive to online dating. It’s a shame if you decide to give up online dating because of one or two incidents like this, imagine all the lovely guys you’ll never meet because of the loser you talked to.
If you end up being contacted in the same way as the woman above, try a paid or membership service instead of a free dating site. I tend to find that when people have spent money, they tend to be much more serious and mature about their dating goals. Remember, with most sites you can still join and browse for free; you won’t pay a dime unless a man you’d like to chat with contacts you. Paid sites also have extensive customer support teams that moderate messages and make sure abusive or spam messages are filtered out.
Type:
The first few weeks (or months in my case) are likely to be the hardest. If you can stick around for this period, you’re well on your way to success. Be willing to frequently contact new women, but always be polite in actual communication. If you’re experiencing dating frustration, DO NOT let it show in any of your communication and definitely don’t get so disillusioned that you contact every woman without even looking at their profile. If you feel like you’re not getting anywhere, then take a break and come back when you feel more open to trying. Depending on the outside world, you may have to make an effort to contact women, although that said, it is also possible that a woman would be more comfortable contacting you first through this method, than in a bar, etc. ..
You may also find it helpful to sign up for more than one service and try a different approach to your profile on each. Obviously, don’t make anything up, but maybe focus on your character and emotions in one and your free time and activities in another. My experience with online dating was that, like on buses, my dates were completely absent or came three at a time! Either he had no dates or he was swimming in them. I signed up for 2 services and sometimes one service seemed like a total loss, when the other provided a lot of contacts; then I would turn around!
I hope you find this information helpful and remember: online dating success is possible, but only with persistence!