One key thing to get my ex back

The key you must do to get her back is not to buy flowers, treat her well, wash her car, take her to dinner or whatever it is that makes her feel loved (again). It’s not. Those are just small steps. And let me tell you right now, very easy to do. And they won’t change your (ex) relationship. They can get Some reaction from here, but it’s not what is going to bring her back into your arms.

The one that is difficult and that will GET your ex back forever is to make her believe that your new changed behavior towards her is permanent. It is not an easy quick fix technique, but it is what will get you back.

I can’t begin to tell you how many people make the mistake of thinking (including myself) “Okay, now we’re together again and I can go back to being my old self” – WRONG.

This mindset will not only ruin your relationship now, but it will ruin its momentum in you and any chance of ending up together in the long run. Even if you are unconscious and simply slip into your old patterns without realizing it, you must open your eyes for this trap. Be aware of what you are doing, how you communicate with her, and when you both seem to be having trouble. Is it when you mention your ex? Is it about your mom? Is it when your secretary calls you late or when you forget to take the dog for a walk? Once you realize that, you can avoid falling back into your old patterns.

If you really want it to work and you want your ex to communicate with you forever, you need to make a permanent change in your behavior. Be honest here, with yourself and with her, can you do it? Because if you can’t do it, don’t even try to get back to her. Don’t answer that phone. I know it’s hard, you miss her, but stop for a second and think what can you offer her this time that you didn’t deliver the first time?

If you rush into it by pretending that everything has changed when it hasn’t, you will end up hurting both of them. It’s not easy to change, in fact, it’s one of the hardest things to do as an adult, but that’s what makes or breaks a strong relationship. I’ve been making the same mistake over and over again and that is trying to fix my relationship from the outside. I kept thinking that my behavior is not the problem. And circumstances beyond my control destroyed my relationship. Until I realized that it is indeed MY inconsistent behavior. It is your obligation to change if you want it to work for your partner. Nobody can do it for you. You must decide if it is something you are willing to do and if you can do it.

So the key is to be persistent and honest with yourself and her about your new behavior. Don’t let her down. Do not be disappointed. I’m sure you can do it.