7 Top Secrets to Living Single Successfully
1. Love yourself: join an exercise program
Well, we all know that it is important to exercise. But did you know that joining a program or a gym can help you feel a real sense of community? By making this commitment over time, you get to meet other people who feel the same way about taking care of themselves. They see each other frequently. It’s a bond that can rival what some find with other church members or volunteers for a cause. Those friends are there for you even when storms occur in other parts of your life: relationships, jobs, etc. If funds are low, check out City or Y programs in your area.
If you hate groups, find a training partner. Or if you have money, a personal trainer. It’s so good to have company on those days when you’re too tired to exercise. And with the coach, since you pay him, there is no commitment. You don’t have to feel bad if you absolutely CANNOT bring yourself to go. Just reprogram.
2. Treat yourself regularly, you deserve it Set aside time for your favorite pampering activities: pedicures, manicures, waxing, or whatever you need. Even if you’re not used to doing this, giving yourself this time is a powerful way to affirm that you are special. If funds are low, give yourself the time to do it yourself. Go to a salon and ask someone to show you what to do. As a friend, a manly man who also had a pretty good sensibilities, once said: “Hey, if you don’t do it yourself, why would anyone else?” Another great one: plan a day in bed. No guilt, just enjoy!
3. Open your heart – give as generously as you can Because you are the only one providing them, both your time and money are valuable to you. But opening your heart does more than good things for others, it clears the way for you to receive even more good. Pick a cause that interests you and spend some time/money. Take the time to choose and purchase gifts that truly reflect your recipient’s personality. If you need ideas, spend some time on Google searching for “gift ideas” for the type of person you’re shopping for. Or know someone who has that magical ability to put romance in every gift, then ask him or her!
4. Fall in love! adopt a pet Unless you’re allergic to every living thing in the world, caring for a pet will get you more out of it than it costs you. Visit animal rescues in your area. If you don’t have the time or energy to walk dogs and don’t like cats, consider a low-maintenance single pet: bird, snake, rabbit. Talk to the experts before choosing these types of animals; each requires a learning curve to have the most successful relationship. Look for the House Rabbit Society or similar groups. And make sure you have a backup to take Mortimer with you when you’re out of town!
5. Don’t live in fear, take reasonable risks with money As your only support, you probably won’t have much of a backup if things go wrong. But if you make sure you understand your options, and realize that the worst possible outcome probably isn’t as bad as you think, you may be able to spend more than you think. On the other hand, do not go beyond recovery. It’s no fun living without any credit for 7 years, the typical consequences of bankruptcy.
6. Learn to enjoy eating out alone Yes, it may seem difficult at first if you haven’t put in the effort. Try this: Go to your local coffee shop or coffee shop. Order your favorite drink (coffee, latte, wine, whatever) and promise yourself that you’ll sit there for at least 5 minutes before leaving. If even that is too much, at least plan to casually walk down the street with your mug for a few minutes. Next time, order a muffin with your coffee. Practice! If you need a distraction, bring a book. Some experienced SWWANs bring a notebook to write in or a sketchbook to draw in – take a look at your surroundings. clue: If you don’t mind chatting, try sitting at the bar or one of the new “individual dining” areas popping up at some better restaurants.
7. Ask for help! Long-time successful single women know that it can be hard to ask for help. We all want to be strong and independent and not needy. But hey, everyone needs help. Why should you, who is handling everything alone, have even less help than other people?! Practice on small things first. You will improve with time. And you’ll find that most people are happy to help; they were just embarrassed to ask because they didn’t want me to think THEY I thought you were in need!
7.5 Dance! Dance: at home before going out, when you feel sad, instead of eating! Let the magic of music and movement transform your energy. Let yourself go, you will feel a tremendous difference.