Relationships: Can someone be emotionally unavailable even if they are in a relationship?

It would be easy to believe that people who are not emotionally available are single and those who are not in a relationship. Or, if someone is emotionally available and single, it could show that they are taking a break after going through a breakup, for example.

Usually this will be something very black and white. However, while this may appear to be the case, this perspective would have very little to do with how things really are.

An illusion

In the same way that someone who seems happy can be deeply unhappy inside; Someone may be in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean they are actually in one. However, from the outside it may appear that they are in an intimate relationship.

In fact, other people might often wonder what it would be like for them to be in a relationship like this. So these people are going to believe that this person has managed this area of ​​their life and they will want to experience the same.

Both senses

Furthermore, someone like that might also believe that they are in an intimate relationship. Then every part of your being will not be involved, but you will still see yourself as someone who is in a relationship.

Then they will share their mind and body with their partner, but the emotional part of their being will not be completely on a board. However, this does not mean that they do not feel things.

Absent

Your body will then be with your partner, but your mind and heart may spend a lot of time elsewhere; that is unless your heart has simply withdrawn. Now, this is not going to be the same as having distractions at work; it will mean that one will generally find it difficult to be fully present with one’s partner.

If your partner has no problem being present, you may feel that they are rarely, if ever, present. They may not understand what is happening, but it will be difficult for them to connect deeply with them.

The clearest sign

If this is how someone is most of the time, it will be pretty clear that they are not emotionally available. Your partner shouldn’t need more information to figure out something is wrong.

However, if they are not emotionally available either, it may take a while for them to realize this. And even if this happens, if they are not aware of what is happening to them and the role they will have played by being attracted to someone like that, they could end up feeling like a victim and blaming their partner.

It’s not random

This comes down to they wouldn’t have randomly ended up with this person. This does not mean that they consciously intend to end them; Most likely it was something that took place unconsciously.

One way of looking at this would be to say that they were drawn to this person so that they could resolve their internal wounds and grow in the process. The only way this will happen is if you are aware of what is happening and not get caught up in your inner wounds.

Back to main point

If someone is rarely present, it will be clear that something is not right, and there may be other things that also reveal that they are not ready for an intimate relationship. By having a weak connection with your emotions, it will probably be rare for you to relate to your partner on a deeper level.

This can make the relationship very shallow and therefore lack the depth necessary to allow a deeper connection to develop. As a result of this, the relationship may not progress.

Avoid conflict

Once the initial spark has died down and the sexual side has settled, there may not be much to keep the relationship together. But if your partner were to talk about how this, one might dismiss what they say.

Another thing they could do is walk away if something like this is mentioned, which will show that they are not willing to go there. This will be one more sign that they are only looking to get their feet wet, so to speak.

An obvious one

If you continually talk about your ex, and even spend a lot of time with them, it is likely to show that something is right. Your body could be in your current relationship, but your heart could still be attached to your ex.

It could go even further and you could be sharing your body with your ex. If they are cheating on their partner, this will be another sign that they are not ready to commit.

Awareness

Obviously, the only way someone can change their behavior is to be aware of what is happening and to have the desire to change. With this in mind, if one is in a relationship with someone who is not emotionally unavailable and unwilling to do anything about it, it might be in their best interest to walk away.

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If you are used to attracting people like this, it is a good idea to take a closer look at what is happening to you on a deeper level. Here the help of a therapist or healer may be necessary.