Go the distance in a long distance relationship
In today’s society, it’s not hard to find a relationship, is it? With the advent of online/internet dating, speed dating, and all other ways and sources of dating, the world of dating and the means for dating have just gotten a little bit easier. One big factor in dating that I have experienced is long distance dating. Even though I didn’t meet my boyfriend online or one of the modern new wave dating styles, we met at work. We lived within 30 miles of each other and spent as much time together as humanly possible. Then he got a job in another state and moved away and we decided to continue dating. Ever since I experienced long distance dating, I have found that this type of relationship is prevalent. However, are long distance relationships worth it?
Out of my entire adult life, and that’s literally half my life, I’ve managed to have relationships in the same town, except for one other time. Although I may travel often, when I return home, I know that an intimate homecoming awaits me. Friends who were in long-distance relationships, she would think, she could never do that. However, having a long distance relationship is something of a common practice. Many celebrities are engaged in this type of relationship. Many internet dating relationships are at risk of getting involved with someone who doesn’t live in the same city or even the same state or country.
What are the emotions of being so far away from the person your heart beats for? For me, the long phone conversations that always seem to bring us closer. We want everyone to know everything that has happened in the short time from one phone conversation to the next. Details that are carefully represented and explained as if we were there experiencing the same thing as the other. It’s morning alarm clocks just to say “good morning and have a great day” with “I love you” always at the end of the conversation. And, those texts that say “I miss you and I love you” really bring us closer.
Long distance relationships allow couples to get to know each other through the simple, yet most crucial aspect of any relationship: communication. With the distance between you, the only connection you have is the communication between the two of you by any current means of communication, such as emails, telephone, text messages, etc. Even though we’ve been dating for two years before he moved to another state, our relationship has now improved. We are now making the effort to allow the relationship to continue to grow and grow closer, even from miles away.
The old adage that absence makes the heart grow bigger is another thrill of being in a long distance relationship. The times we are together make up for the times we are apart. The anticipation of seeing each other at a regular interval makes it all worth it. The hug, the long kisses, the intimacy seem as if it were the first time, every time.
My favorite thing about being in a long distance relationship is learning how to be creative. Both people need to know how to comfort each other. For example, my friend Renny said that for a long distance relationship to work, “you have to find someone who knows how to send the sunshine when you’re cold, move the clouds when the sun is too hot, and blow a dash of lust and love”. through a gentle breeze when you feel loneliest. Or bring each of you closer with excellent telephone communication. And there’s nothing like foreplay hundreds and even thousands of miles away to stir the pot and make arriving at the airport one hell of a steamy ride home.” Those are the creative dates when nothing but distance and time stands between the two of you. Renny definitely expressed creativity in how we should endure and make the relationship worthwhile.
Not everything is roses when dating someone who lives in another state. On the other side of dating someone from afar are the frustrations of the relationship. When something great happens, I want to celebrate and I want to celebrate with the person I’m dating and close friends. Life is unexpected with good and bad experiences, but when you need someone to be there, you find that he or she is in another city or state and cannot share your emotions or disappointments. Delayed celebration becomes the norm, and sometimes the thrill of the experience is not the same.
The biggest obstacle in this type of relationship is the decision when the relationship reaches another level. I have a friend Nancy who has a boyfriend in another state. She loves where she lives and so does he. The relationship is at a point where they want to get married; however, neither wants to give up where they live. The decision to move becomes the most important aspect of the relationship. I remember when I first put my ex-husband up. We lived in different states and then we decided to get married. I wasn’t going to live in the state he lived in and we promised to choose anywhere but his state. This decision almost became a serious problem in our relationship.
One important tip if you are faced with dating in another state is to communicate about important issues up front. Before you get too serious in the relationship, find common ground and ask those questions that can be a deal breaker. Questions like who is willing to move, how often will you see each other, who will do most of the traveling or if you will share, how long will the relationship test, and where do you see the relationship in a period of time (six months, one year, two years , etc.)
All things considered, you take the good, you take the bad, and there you have the facts of dating long distance. The relationship can work, but it will require creativity, patience, trust, and a deep love for each other. Your long-distance journey awaits you.